Hipster Microblog: My True Inspirations

My true inspirations revealed in a late night entry I found in my journal (I typed it up because my handwriting is crazy bad at 3am):
“The truth is you always know the right thing to do, the hard part is actually doing it.” – some General dude (Source: Infinity Ward 2007, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, video game, Xbox 360, Activision, USA.)
*smash cut to*
Pictured: Norman ‘Aslan’ Schwarzkopf

It’s actually a really good quote! It’s surprisingly hard to find actual screenshots from Modern Warfare, though. And some very earnest googling convinced me that images of the quote screens themselves are to be found nowhere on the internet as it is available to humanoids with security clearance lower than Qué-Tsar

My best attempt was this clunker…

Me talk pretty one day.

Which netted the following gem…

“Oh YokoPWNo1990, I’ll miss you most of all…”

So yeah, strange conspiracy obviously afoot.

So  I decided to check out Norman Schwarzkopf. Turns out, appearing to us in his “human” form – rather than his “heroic feline Christ stand-in” form – the famous General orchestrated the USA’s Lightning War invasion of Iraq during the 1991 Gulf conflict, aka Bush Snr’s Gulf War I to Bush Jnr’s Gulf War II…

“In Operation Desert Storm, General Schwarzkopf orchestrated one of the most lopsided victories in modern warfare, a six-week blitzkrieg by a broad coalition of forces with overwhelming air superiority that liberated tiny Kuwait from Iraqi occupation, routed Saddam Hussein’s Republican Guard and virtually destroyed Iraq’s infrastructure, all with relatively light allied losses.” – New York Times, 2012.

I guess that means Normie is wrong in his fancy quote. People clearly don’t always know the right thing to do. Because destroying Iraq was not the right thing to do. It was kinda fucked. Whatever you think about the USA’s motives in the region – and they’re deeply suspect – the brutal execution and harrowing consequences of the first Gulf War made it thoroughly unjust.

“The first Gulf War in 1991, the devastating effect of economic sanctions, and Saddam’s repression of his own people … created five million Iraqi refugees and displaced up to one million people inside the country.” – The Guardian, 2003

“The US/ UN sanctions on Iraq of the 1990s, which interdicted chlorine for much of that decade and so made water purification impossible, are estimated to have killed another 500,000 Iraqis, mainly children. Infants and toddlers die easily from diarrhea caused by gastroenteritis, which causes fatal dehydration.” – Juan Cole, 2013

So yeah. Nihilism all round thanks, barkeep.

Or… maybe Schwarzkopf was right. Maybe we do all know what is right in each moment, deep down. Maybe Schwarzkopf knew what the right thing was, but he lacked the strength to do it, and so he did something terrible instead.

The infamous ‘Highway of Death’, 1991. There are far worse photos, but be warned – they’re awful (and were suppressed, helping the USA to sanitise the invasion)

But we mustn’t forget the other side of Norm. The noble, gentle hero who fought in many brave battles and sacrificed himself willingly on the Round Table to alter the Deep Magic and save us all…

Actual fucking tears.

So there you go, my true inspirations…. revealed!

2 thoughts on “Hipster Microblog: My True Inspirations

  1. Ah, but it was the words that inspired, not the man or his actions. The problem is that people can utter words of wisdom without being wise, or, as you point out, completely fly in the face of them for pressure. I’ve actually stopped playing all war games. They either trivialise war or glorify it. There are some exceptions. Here’s hoping the game you were playing has some sort of higher ethical standards.


    1. Yeah totally… the fact that I saw the quote in Call of Duty really should have prepared me for the guy being a dick IRL ha ha

      I’ve been playing Red Faction lately, it’s pretty awesome – you’re part of a revolutionary uprising on a subjugated Mars. Basically killing fascists to liberate the planet’s worker!


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